I have a lot to say about a lot of things…so listen up!
Ok to start with I am 82 years old which means at least 75% of you will move on. What would be of any interest to you from such an OLD person? Well, I know it might be a shock to you, but you too will, one day, be OLD.
Can you imagine what it is like to be classed as a waste of space, as someone to be laughed at …no use at all?
OK, not everyone thinks like that, but it happens in this country. The word OLD seems to make some people smirk…’that silly OLD woman fell over’ or ’ I was stuck behind a stupid OLD man’. You know what I mean because you have most probably said something similar. It’s just something people do; it goes together with ‘FAT’ and ‘BLACK.’
Many other countries admire and care for their elderly relatives, and we in Great Britain used to do the same. In some countries it just means that the older person moves down a step, they babysit, they prepare the vegetables in other words they are useful. It seems to me that nowadays there is a new way of dealing with OLD people. It’s ok as long as they have ‘all their marbles,’ but if not…it’s a care home! With those words, ‘you’ll love it here, you’ll make lots of new friends,’ etc.
NO, I won’t like it there, NO I don’t want to make new friends! Of course, for some people it might work, in a way I envy them, they are a bit like sheep being herded into pens, and maybe that makes them feel safe and I say ‘good luck. I hope you live happily ever after!’
There is no doubt about the care given by dedicated staff in care homes, they are amazing, and we need them, and we praise them, but it should not be something that goes along with ‘old age,’ it can’t be all there is….surely not!
I acknowledge that we need care homes, and for some people it is all they need, security and love. That used to be something your FAMILY gave you but sadly not so much these days, we are all so busy, but remember one day you will be that old person and let’s hope there is someone out there for you!
But, for me, and it makes me cross, even furious at times, why should I be grouped under the umbrella OLD, I am Wendy, and I am a person!
DON’T ASSUME that we all need to be bundled up with a label marked ‘PASSED SELL BY DATE!’
Let me just comment on those damn signs of a hunched over couple crossing the road - we do know how to cross a road thank you, we know to look left and right…or is it right to left! So, stop treating us like a load of idiots. Use the money for signs like…’stop looking at your phone when crossing the road!’ Or ‘ take your headphones off when on your bicycle so you can hear the hooting!’
What makes people think that at the age of 65 one should ‘RETIRE!’ What for? Why? You have so much more to give, do you think by the time you retire you have nothing more to give? If you think about it, you were born, schooled, fell in love, maybe married had kids, friends and settled down! Only to be told at 65 to RETIRE! It’s exhausting, for goodness sake take time to enjoy all you have to offer the world. Maybe you were a Scientist, maybe a journalist, a Doctor, a carpenter etc ..pass it on, train people to continue your work, enjoy passing on your skills! Yes of course if all you want to do is to learn to knit, to watch afternoon TV and to see to your window boxes then do it, but just try to remember that we are not all the same and I, for one, object to being clumped together under the label OLD! Some OLD people have their uses…..don’t just chuck us on a skip and walk away.
We can teach you a lot, maybe we are not so good at Social Media, what a bloody waste of time that is, don’t get me started on that…maybe another time!
How do I live my life?
Meanwhile me, I’m 82 as I said at the beginning, I’m busy, I work 7 days a week and start about 8.30 and stop work about 8pm. I enjoy working, in fact I can’t get enough of it! There is not enough time in the day to fit everything in.
The dreadful pandemic has made me realise that there is so much more we can learn. In the first week of ‘lockdown’ I joined a Zoom class and learnt how to make candles. That was Christmas sorted! Then I joined an Italian course, but I must admit I am putting that off as I am so busy writing that the thought of learning a language is quite daunting…but I will do it soon. I am cooking, not baking, but making very complicated dishes, it’s wonderful, but sad too, as my husband died 18 months ago, and we were together real ‘foodies’ but now it’s just me and the dog but we are coping together!
By the way I am OK even though I am 82 as I am loving being on my own, nobody to tell me what to do, nobody to hurt my feelings, nobody to criticise me..I may never come out of ‘lockdown!’
I have been in isolation now for over a year but what with the cooking and the writing I have to tell you that I also speak pure COCKER SPANIEL. My dog is called Harriet, this was my name when I was a dress designer in the ‘60’s…that is again another story to tell you about so hang on in there. Harriet and I enjoy each other’s company we chat away; we dance a lot; we sing out of key…we are as one!
And finally…….
Now if you are still with me I have to boast about my new book, I finished it on the first day of lockdown. Typical of me - if anything goes wrong I am always involved so that’s why the book is called ….no darling it’s called BAD ORGANISATION. I have written it in the name of Wendy Darling for some reason. I write books generally with no words but with sketches of curtains I write those under the name of Wendy Baker…sometimes with all my names I forget who I am!
I wrote this new book, perhaps to prove to myself that I had achieved quite a lot considering I was not very bright, not very pretty, not much of anything really but I had ‘gumption’ that’s an old word, but ‘gumption’ is important…it’s sort of means ‘guts.’
Really, until you write your memoir you don’t really know what you have achieved, perhaps you might feel a bit of a failure, what use have you been, but write it all down and you will see how important your life has been to others! Well maybe it wasn’t much use to anyone, but I can’t help you there! Meanwhile go on my website www.shoestringbooks.co.uk or Amazon and see read about my busy life! Remember the title….no darling it’s called BAD ORGANISATION by me Wendy Darling (I think!!)
Well, I’ve never written a blog before so hopefully I haven’t made a fool of myself…I mean well!
Quite enjoyable, dear lady I speak/write as a mere young shaver in my seventies but as each day passes I might reach my eighties too but in my defence I am working at it. I must admit I have not so far bothered with writing a blog but for my sins I do write a weekly (some suggest weakly..) column for my local, regional newspaper on basically the same lines as your blog. I would point out that I came across your web site while looking for a booklet (book?) that was supposed to be included in a DVD boxed set of the old TV series Shoestring starring Trevor Eve and hence finding you although you personally didn t realise you were lost.. I have subscribed to your list an will keep up with your developments as you go along but meanwhile have a nice day, in whatever form it will take. Best wishes. John
Dear John/ fellow 'would be' blogger how nice of you to comment on my first blog! Lots more to come so keep in touch as you may be the only person that every reads my rantings please do keep checking on them. Perhaps you may even decide to read my memoir I could sign it for you big deal!